My Grad School Application
BY MARQUEZ CHACON
Most people underestimate the power of culture shock. Growing up in a lower-income community inhabited by first-generation immigrants and racial minorities, I’ve interacted with people who come from many different countries and backgrounds. I personally am a Chicano whose family has been Americanized for at least four generations. In high school, where seemingly everyone knew a second language, people poked fun at me for knowing only English. Although I was the “whitest” person in my friend group, we shared a lot of sentiments, values and slang with each other. It wasn’t until I entered college that my minority status became relevant. Surrounded by students who did not share my background, I started feeling isolated and misplaced. Being a minority in higher education is already tough as it is, especially one in STEM, but no one told me how psychologically taxing it would be to avoid sticking out.
The culture shock I felt during college introduced several identity crises within myself. My environment growing up reinforced notions of strength in the face of adversity, and as a poor brown kid, I made sure to project that instead of helplessness. The imposter syndrome I felt when initially working on a mathematics research project greatly challenged this image. Paired with people who seemed to know what they were doing, I couldn’t help but wonder “What am I doing here? People like me don’t belong here.” Despite holding these private views, I continued to project that strength I was conditioned to hold. Throughout the quarter, our camaraderie grew stronger, and eventually I began to lower my guard. I started asking questions that I previously felt were unintelligent. Seeing my colleagues respond to them warmly and respectfully encouraged me to advocate for my needs more often. When rehearsing presentations at the end of the quarter, I asked to present the conjecture and theory behind our research since I had the strongest grasp on that while my colleagues could better explain the code and applications. My experience with this project transformed my self-perceptions and helped me realize that my unique ideas were an asset, not a burden.
Although society will constantly remind me of my minority status, experiences like the one aforementioned can help uproot those toxic images ingrained into my head. As an underrepresented minority, I realized that navigating higher academia necessitated honesty and vulnerability. While minority success stories are glorified, we need to be equally transparent about our struggles as well. Integrating into environments that were not originally built for us continues to pose a challenge today. Reflecting on my upbringing, the limited opportunities afforded to me, and the systemic barriers I constantly faced has motivated me to use data science to address social issues. My struggles and experiences are invaluable to a field that uses inferential statistics, considering I myself am a statistic. In a field where most professionals do not come from ethnic, lower-income backgrounds, my unique perspective represents the erased voices from my community.
